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Beckie Scott Story Part III of IV

Competing and Coming Back On One’s Own Terms

interview by Torin Koos
paintings by Sean McCabe

It’s almost like alchemy — to watch Beckie Scott turn the page from the disappointment that was Nagano and come into the Salt Lake Olympics a changed competitor. Then to watch bronze turn to silver, then to gold. Now that’s alchemist-like drama. We’ve already heard the best advice Scott’s ever received. The second bit? “You don’t hand in your training log at the start line.” To Scott, this meant stop counting up the hours and start counting up the quality.

In the build-up toward the 2002 Olympics, what doubts did you have going into it? Did you always know you were going to get that medal?
Beckie Scott: No. Not at all. I had no idea. In a way, this was really good. There was no pressure. People were optimistic, but they weren’t counting on me, so I didn’t have any external pressure to win a medal. I didn’t have doubts because I wasn’t expected to do anything except race as well as I could. But the medal? The medal was the dream goal.

Talking about the pursuit, if Neumannova got you at the line and you didn’t get to stand on the Olympic medal podium, even though you were the eventual, rightful gold medalist how would you have viewed this? You got to stand up on the podium, but you didn’t get to hear “OCanada” being played.
BS: The whole situation was so bizarre. I was the one person speaking out against doping before the Olympics and I was the one person who became the most caught up and affected by doping at the Olympics. But things would have been totally different if I had been fourth, if I had not won a medal.
At the time, of course, we didn’t know. I mean, if you would have told me they would have tested positive, I never would have believed it. I was shocked. I mean I knew for sure they were doping, but I never believed they would get caught.
To stand up on that podium, for me that was like winning the gold medal. We were so happy. We celebrated like it was gold.
I remember Justin watching the race, seeing it coming down to the final straight, watching him rip off the doctor’s medical
armband and booking down past the security guards to the
finish. The medals weren’t sorted out yet, but he was going to be there for something good. It definitely didn’t seem like ‘Oh, I got the bronze.’
No [laughs]. It was good as gold. Oh, yeah.

Olga Danilova and Larissa Lazutina, they didn’t steal any thunder from your moment?
BS: Ha. Ha. Ha. I don’t think so. We were pretty thrilled.

What if you’d crossed the finish line in fourth?
BS: It would’ve been completely different. That medal, it changed my life. It was the one experience where Canadians stood up and took notice of cross-country skiing. I did get to stand on the podium. I got to have a medal placed around my neck at the Games. I am fully aware it could have gone the other way — in less than a tenth of a second exactly.

What about the other podium ceremonies?
BS: The first was in Calgary. The second, the gold medal, was in Vancouver.

How were these experiences for you?
BS: They were okay. Definitely different, definitely not the same as the Salt Lake experience. It wasn’t close to that, for obvious reasons. At the time in Calgary, I didn’t know if I would be awarded the silver or if it would be upgraded to gold. The gold medal was more of a relief than anything.

Did you ever talk to Danilova or Lazutina?
BS: I never saw them after that.

Now that you’ve had a couple years post-racing, how do you hope or how do you feel people remember you?
BS: You want to be remembered positively, fondly. I feel I left the sport with a lot of friends, which is really important to me. I didn’t want to just have the results, the achievements and everything, but to have enjoyed the experience as well.
Almost as importantly, especially in the European circuit, I hope people remember that it was a real breakthrough for someone from North America to win medals and podium consistently. The Salt Lake Olympic medal was a turning point for Canadian cross-country skiing. People were like, ‘Wow, it can be done? It can.’ This was the breakthrough.

How did you find the right balance of skiing in your life during your career? After 2002, you raced 2003. Then in 2004-2005, you took a long break away from heavy training.
BS: Yes. I took five months off, completely.

This was a conscious decision on your part.
BS: It was.

And you always knew you were going to come back.
BS: No.

No?
BS: No, I didn’t. At that time, I was seriously contemplating retirement. That’s why I took the time off. I didn’t know if I wanted to make an announcement yet. I didn’t know if I was really ready to say goodbye or if I still had more in me. At that stage, all I knew for sure was that I really needed a break and I couldn’t keep doing things the way I’d been doing them. I felt my life had become too monotonous. I no longer had it in me to just keep doing it the same way. I needed to make a change. The first part of this was taking this huge break away — totally away.

What brought you back to skiing?
BS: The realization, first and foremost, that I could do it differently. I didn’t have to only race in Europe. For almost 10 years straight, I’d gone to the same locales, raced the same circuit, spending months and months and months in hotels away from home. At this point, I could pick and choose my races a little more. I could spend more time at home. I wasn’t obligated to be on the road all the time. I could do it my way. I’d earned my stripes. I had earned the seniority to say, ‘I will go to this camp, or I won’t.’ To Dave’s [Wood] credit, he was really flexible and supportive of that and allowed me to write my own ticket for the last year and a half of my career, which, mentally, was what I really needed to do. To be a full-time, always-on-the-road skier no longer fit me or my program.
Eventually I came back to feeling that I wasn’t ready to stop, to say goodbye for good. I still had some motivation to race and I still enjoyed many aspects of the lifestyle. I decided if I could do it just a little differently, I would continue.

Do you feel you had to pay your dues though, that you had to put all those years in on the road?
BS: I do. For sure. And I wanted to at the time. I enjoyed it. That’s what I wanted to do and that’s how I was learning and getting better. At the time, it was appropriate. Then I kind of ran out of steam. I just needed to recharge and do it differently.

Could you have gotten away with this if you didn’t have so many years of training in the bank?
BS: Ha. Ha. No. Probably not.

Your approach heading into 2006 Games was different than in the 2002 Olympics.
BS: The whole season leading up Torino had been really successful. I went in as a favourite, which is a totally different experience than going in as an underdog. This made it less enjoyable. I felt external pressure that I hadn’t felt before, and I really didn’t enjoy that. I tried really hard to disengage from that and not let it bother me. But, ultimately, it did kind of affect me. I just wasn’t as happy. I was a little more stressed.

How did you deal with this?
BS: I tried different tactics. I spent time with the team and with Justin and enjoyed the things I enjoy. I had some ways of keeping things in perspective, though it was tough, really tough.

You and Sara Renner brought home the silver medal in the sprint relay.
BS: We did. This was a really special experience; to have it happen with a person who had been my teammate since I was 14.

You got to share in the success. It seemed fitting two teammates who had spent so much time together.
BS: Exactly. And for it to happen in such a dramatic race too — Sara breaking a pole. We were out of contention for a while. Then we came back.

Ah, yes, the now-infamous Hakersmoen was there.
BS: Our knight in shining armour. Sara and I were so excited before that race because we knew we were the favourites. And this is an unbelievable place to start an Olympic race from. Then we were in the fight. We were in the hunt for the medals. Then I saw it happen. I saw the pole break. I saw Sara go from first or second to fourth or fifth. My stomach dropped because I thought, ‘It’s over.’ Then the pole. Then Sara came back. When she tagged to me, I realized it’s not too far, I can make this up if I really go for it. The drama in that race made it sweeter in its own special way. It was so almost not there. It was so close to not happening. The almost — in a good way.

In an interview in 2003, you said, “Doping is as widespread and prolific as it ever was. Dopers are still taking home their share of the medal haul and the FIS is doing a terribly inadequate job of clearing it up.” Do you still stand by these comments?
BS: No. Maybe in 2003 that was the case. Obviously, I felt that way in 2003. Now, I think things have changed for the better. I think FIS is doing a better job.

What specific things has the FIS done to clean up the sport?
BS: In the results, there’s much more of a variety in the countries and people who can win a race. I think part of this is having WADA [World Anti-Doping Association] around, keeping an eye on the whole situation. I also see a change in FIS with Joerg Capol [FIS’ head honcho] coming on board.

I don’t know if this is a question you want to answer, but it’s a pertinent one. In the World Cup today, Virpi Kuitunen is a superstar in our sport. She’s won the World Cup overall the past two years, the inaugural Tour de Ski and handfuls of wins and podiums on the World Cup circuit. She’s also one of the Lahti Six. Has she served her debt to the sport and to society for her doping, or do we have to view all of her success with suspicion, as she’s still working with the same coach and with her coloured past?
BS: That’s a hard one . . . . From a personal perspective, I don’t know what it’s like to be a doper and to come back and to try to race again. I just don’t know what that experience is like.
When people dope, it’s the ultimate act of disrespect to your fellow competitors. Having raced against her when she was doped, I can never really look at her as an equal ever again, even after serving her suspension. I have no desire to view her as an equal competitor again. To me, it was such a loathsome act, such a despicable act — an act of fraud.

Can I use this?
BS: Sure. Absolutely.

I feel this is a pertinent question, one that needs to be answered, and answered from a variety of sources. I want to talk to Kuitunen about it.
BS: Why not? For sure. The thing is people welcomed her back with seemingly open arms. I was just like, ‘How can you hold your head high after what you’ve done? How can you look people in the eye and take your medals and your money?’ Maybe she can because she’s clean. Maybe she actually feels that she’s served her sentence and paid her dues. Maybe in her mind it’s all good, it’s all justified and all fine.

I appreciate you answering that one.
BS: No problem.

After Torino, you go on a tear, chasing the World Cup overall title. There were a lot of races all jammed into the last three weeks of the season. You finished by traveling to China, then Japan, finishing second in the sprint, then winning the pursuit in your last ski race ever. These were very challenging races for you. I don’t think the results tell the whole story. Apparently, you weren’t on your A-game for these races.
BS: No. I was sick in China. I had flashes of cold chills running through my body between all the rounds of the sprint. Japan was two days later. I was barely recovered from sickness in Sapporo. I think I tapped into something I didn’t know I had, that’s for sure. Knowing those two races would be the last I’d ever do, I just had to ignore any symptoms of illness and overcome them. This was the way to go out, I tell you. I’m so glad I was able to end that way; that I had it in me — no, that I decided to have it in me — to win the last race of my life. It was really important to me to do that — to end this long 11-year career of ski racing internationally with a win. That meant more to me than anything. It was a great way to go.

Don’t despair. The fourth, and final, installment appears in the next issue  — “Career Ends, Influence Doesn’t.”

Beckie Scott is the first North American to win Olympic gold in cross-country skiing. At the 2002 Games in Salt Lake City, UT, Scott was first awarded the bronze medal in the women’s 10km pursuit. When the two skiers ahead of her were caught doping Scott pursued a two-year process that saw her awarded the silver and then the gold.

Go to Part 2.
Go to Part 4.





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