August 18, 2005 – When I was told in late April that I had not been renamed to the National Ski Team I figured that there was a good chance that my days as a competitive skier had come to an end. I assumed that without proper funding and without the resources that I had become accustomed to over the past five or so years I would simply not be able to compete. Last season was a difficult one for me both on and off the ski trails. Results that were nowhere near my potential coupled with burnout and too many political decisions that did not go my way soured me on the sport and its politics. I was not bitter; I had simply lost my desire. Being a fast skier just didn’t seem as important as it once had. I needed a break from the rigors of putting my sport above all else in my life, a break that I had not had in as long as I can remember.

So, for most of April, May, June and to be honest… July, I spent more time in the gym trying to look good for the beach, more time on the beach tanning for the bar and more time in the bar trying to look good for the ladies (one in particular). Most of all though, I made a conscious effort to distance myself from the world of elite nordic skiing. Life was great; I worked a little, partied a little more and wakeboarded almost every weekend. For the first time in a while I was, as a wise dude I know continually says, “just chillin.”

There is a saying: “You can take the dog out of the fight but you can’t take the fight out of the dog.” I soon realized that, although I was having the best, most relaxing and most fulfilling summer of my life, the fight was beginning to smolder just under the surface. A training camp with my new teammates on The Exel Racing Team in Collingwood, Ontario served as a starting point for serious training to begin. I put in a solid week of training and, surrounded by positive and supportive teammates, felt refreshed after a long but much needed hiatus from fulltime training.

Last season I got myself into the best shape of my life by mid August and unfortunately had nothing left when the race season finally came around… and when it finally mattered. This year, while my decision to take a break might read more like a mean bender, I intentionally took a long break in order to better time my peak – hopefully just in time for the World Cup Races in December. Since mid July I have been training on a more serious basis (in between hucking backflips on the wakeboard of course) but have a much more relaxed outlook. If I’m tired I take an afternoon off. If I feel like going longer, slower or harder then I go longer, slower or harder. If I feel like playing tennis for two hours between workouts instead of getting in that “oh-so-necessary nap” then I do. The result is that in just over a month I feel like things are coming around quite nicely. My intensity sessions feel snappy and strong, my technique feels solid, surprising since I have only had one brief technique session all season, and my confidence is just as high as high as ever.

I have always been told that the body responds best to change: both physically and mentally. If this is true then I am looking for a big response this year. I have changed my attitude, my mentality towards training and my training itself. Most of all however, I have changed teams. My new team, The Exel Racing Team, has given my skiing dreams a rebirth of sorts. The opportunity to ski for this newly formed team has given me supportive teammates who share similar goals and has placed me in a team dynamic that stresses individual success as well as shared team excellence.

Only time will tell how my metamorphosis will affect my speed on the trails but I feel that I have finally found the balance that I have been searching for my whole career. I now ski for myself, because I love skiing, training and racing. It has taken me ten years of competing to realize that there is no other way to do things…